


As night butterflies and light

by ca_te



Category: Loveless
Genre: Angst, Incest, M/M, Shounen ai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-05
Updated: 2010-09-05
Packaged: 2017-10-11 12:06:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/112236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ca_te/pseuds/ca_te
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written on 2nd May 2009. Hints of incest, nothing explicit. From Ritsuka's POV, 2nd person.</p>
    </blockquote>





	As night butterflies and light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ayaogicesthime](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=ayaogicesthime), [kitamurin](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kitamurin), [ri_tsu_ka](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=ri_tsu_ka), [sute_hikahika](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=sute_hikahika).



> Written on 2nd May 2009. Hints of incest, nothing explicit. From Ritsuka's POV, 2nd person.

You sit on the bus, going to Soubi's house. You haven't left the incense stick in front of the altar. Not that is needed but…You look out of the window, balling your hands into fists and your thoughts run back to him, like nigh butterflies hitting the light. And getting burnt.

 

His room was a little bigger than yours, there was a carpet on the floor. You liked it under your feet, it was soft and warm. Once you asked him what was it made of, he answered that he didn't know.

You used to sit there till he came back. He wasn't at home during the afternoons, those were the moments your ears tensed up, afraid to hear your mom footsteps. Being in that place, full of Semei's things calmed you.

The best thing was hearing is voice, "I'm home", your ears used to twitch and you were already standing in front of the room. He used to smile down at you before lifting you up. He was strong and his smile was like one from a picture. You once had learnt a word at school, the word was "glorious", from then on you had always associated it to Semei.

You liked the way he used to hold you, his chest against yours. He was all your family in the end. He was the meaning, he was the answer to the many "why" that popped into your mind while you were looking at the photos of the "real" Ritsuka or while your mom was beating you.

 

It was the first time she had beaten you. You had screamed. You were alone at home with her.

Bleeding, you went up to Semei's room and cuddled on the carpet, not wanting to ruin the sheets. You remained there, ears flat over your head, looking at Semei's things as if they could heal you. Without noticing it you were praying, the taste of steel in your mouth. Your body got numb, as you replayed your brother's smile over and over in your mind.

Then there were his hands, lifting you up and carrying you to the bed.

You opened your eyes, his face was serious as he checked the wound.

\- Does it hurt if I do this?

He pressed his cold fingers on the spot that your mom hit, you wailed.

\- It hurts, Semei.

Finally he smiled and took the bandages. You bit your lip.

\- You don't have to bite so hard. Cry if you want to.

You felt something warm spreading behind your eyes.

He sat on the bed, you watched the white of the bandage through your tears and crawled on his lap. You felt his arms around you. He held you there in silence. You focused on his calm breath and tried to set your over it. You wanted your hearts to beat together. He pressed his warm hand over your little back.

\- Don't worry, Ritsuka. Our hearts can beat at a different speed, but they are and they always will be connected.

You gripped his shirt and nodded against his chest.

\- Will you always be with me, Ritsuka?

He leaned his head down and pressed his lips over your hair. You shivered.

\- I'll always be with you, Semei. But I don't want to burden you.

You swallowed, waiting for his answer. It didn't come, so you lifted up your head. Over you there were his eyes, they were like cold amethyst, still they had something warm lurking inside of them, you wished it was only for you. You almost jumped as you felt his hand over your cheek. Your mind was going out of track as you tried to decode what was happening inside of you.

His breath was sweet over your nose, he tilted your head up and leaned closer. Your lips were almost touching. You felt your cheeks burning, your heart lost somewhere in your throat.

\- S-Semei.

\- Shh. You are not a burden, Ritsuka. You are the only one that I love.

You closed your eyes as soon as he pressed his lips against yours. They were a bit dry but still soft, you smelt his scent and opened your mouth slowly as he lightly licked your lips. When you broke apart you felt your head light, your heart running fast. He hugged you, and remained silent.

You squeezed your eyes shut and let the words form over your tongue.

\- I love you too, Semei.

That was your first kiss.

 

All of sudden your ears are again full of the sounds of the bus, people talking and laughing, the noise of the cars passing. You swallow, your eyes watery.

As you get out of the bus, you curse yourself, 'cause in the end you really are nothing more than a night butterfly who loses his wings to the burning light. You looked up at Soubi's window, hoping that he can wash away the memory of your first kiss, of your first love.


End file.
